Hey everyone, today was the big day, the day of the talent show. I entered and did a comedy routine.
Here's some back story. I'm a funny guy. I have ADHD. I get great jokes, but forget them. I recently started keeping a notebook on me so when I thought of one I can write it down to remember later. I had a ton of jokes, but some were better than others, and they were all over the place. I narrowed it down to my college jokes. Not many, just 5. I could go on trying to describe it, but I recorded it. So for your viewing pleasure, I present you with "Comedy is my Tallent."
Prety funny huh? Be on the look out for behind the scenes and other bonus material. I'll find out if I won or placed soon. Well this has been Pokematic signing off and "bu-bye."
This was a short post. This is almost ccpandhgvideos. Wow.
UPDATE: I didn't win, but that doesn't mean anything. I saw a comedian on comedy central that was beat by this guy in last comic standing, but the winner wasn't the one with the comedy central special. I recorded it, and put it on the web. I could be big.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
What a Mothers Day
Before I tell my story, let me start out by saying I love my family from my cousins to my grand parents, it's just that they can be a piece of work sometimes.
Happy Mothers Day everyone. Before I tell my juicy story of my dinner with my family, let me just say that on Friday and Saturday, my mom went on a retreat, so it was a mans weekend with just my dad, brother, and me with the house to ourselves. Hurray for man weekend.
As is the tradition in our family, my in the area family goes out to dinner for mothers day. This includes me, my brother, my dad, my mom, my grandma, my grandpa, and grandparents close friends that are practically family. Now for some reason, food is the single most important thing in the world to my grandparents. I go camping, their first question isn't "did you have fun," it's "what was there to eat?" I went to this big scholarship competition and they didn't ask how it went, they asked what I ate afterwards. The list goes on and on, and I appreciate that they want to know I am fed, but it gets kind of annoying after 17 years. Don't worry this goes somewhere.
So for mothers day, mom told them that they choose where we eat dinner. Well instead of choosing somewhere relatively local, they chose a restaurant that is an hour away and no where near us or them. It's a nice restaurant don't get me wrong, but there are plenty of other really nice restaurants closer. Oh well, watched Batman Beyond, Return of the Joker Uncut on the way there and back on the built in DVD player.
So we get there, say our hellos, and start looking at the menu. It was primarily a seafood that we went to, and not being a fan of seafood, I kind of wondered what I would eat. And let me say that my wonder and there worry are 2 entirely different things. And they always tell me "get whatever you want," but what they really mean is "get what ever you want, as long as it's expensive." I saw a cheese burger and decided that's what I wanted. Everyone was telling each other what they were getting, and I told them the burger, and they weren't happy with my choice. They told me to get this steak, or steak sandwich. But with those "get this" request always comes "I thought you liked (insert food I'm not getting here)." I do, I just don't want that today. But even after I say that, the "get this" continues on. No worries, I stood my ground and ordered my burger. I think it has something to do with the burger being $5 cheaper than the steak. They always want me to get the expensive for some reason, even if I assure them, "that's what I want."
Anyways after that little story, now we actually order. My parents, brother and I ordered our food with little hassle at all. We knew what we wanted and told the waitress. But then comes the time for the older generation to order, and that was a sight. "Now what's the vegetable?" "What does that come with?" "Can I substitute that for asparagus?" Oh asparagus, one decided they want it and the rest start changing their order to get asparagus instead of the mixed vegetables. Then after placing his order, my grandpa changes it after he hears what his friend is getting. So there's more craziness. There were many other things, but I can't remember all of it since I was fighting laughing so hard. Afterwards the waitress asked my parents and my brother and I if we had any changes, and we said no.
So after crazy ordering, we open cards. Nothing really special with that. Then we waited for an hour for our food. No judgement on the restaurant after the ordering.
So now our food gets here, or should I say the soup and salads. My grandma ordered beef stroganouf, and she didn't like it because it was to thick. Not that it didn't taste good, but because it was to thick. It tasted like gravy so I ate it because I love beef gravy.
So then our main dishes get here, and mine was good. What do my grand parents do, they go on and on about how good it looks. I leaned of to my grandpa and said, "How about you try it?" My family teases a lot, so I wasn't being mean, just getting even. So they eat, and we eat. We finish, so then they start passing their food onto us. "Well here, try this. It's really good." Since it was seafood they left me alone this time, but my mom and brother weren't safe. My brother is completely full, and my grandpa gives him the last quarter of his crab cake. He said he was full, even before grandpa offered, but no one is safe from the food passers. Then my grandpa gives some of his shrimp to my mom. He doesn't like the breading they put on, well any seafood from any restaurant, so he peals it all off and places it on a side plate. Mom says "well if I'm gonna have it at least let me have some of the breading."
So now we're at the end when we're boxing up the left overs. We box up our left over fries and meat like many Americans. Restaurant left overs make great lunches. But my grandma has enough left on her plait to make a full lunch. Mom says "box that up," but she says "here take my asparagus." Oh man, the asparagus you fought so hard to get, you are passing it off to some one else. Mom says take it but she says I won't eat it so you take it. A little more back and forth of take it, and mom eventually gave in. At least this time we were all on separate bills so they didn't end up arguing over who's paying. And their arguments never involve "you're paying," it's always "I'm paying." I really don't get my family no matter how hard I try, but I love them either way, and never forget that.
Happy mothers day.
Happy Mothers Day everyone. Before I tell my juicy story of my dinner with my family, let me just say that on Friday and Saturday, my mom went on a retreat, so it was a mans weekend with just my dad, brother, and me with the house to ourselves. Hurray for man weekend.
As is the tradition in our family, my in the area family goes out to dinner for mothers day. This includes me, my brother, my dad, my mom, my grandma, my grandpa, and grandparents close friends that are practically family. Now for some reason, food is the single most important thing in the world to my grandparents. I go camping, their first question isn't "did you have fun," it's "what was there to eat?" I went to this big scholarship competition and they didn't ask how it went, they asked what I ate afterwards. The list goes on and on, and I appreciate that they want to know I am fed, but it gets kind of annoying after 17 years. Don't worry this goes somewhere.
So for mothers day, mom told them that they choose where we eat dinner. Well instead of choosing somewhere relatively local, they chose a restaurant that is an hour away and no where near us or them. It's a nice restaurant don't get me wrong, but there are plenty of other really nice restaurants closer. Oh well, watched Batman Beyond, Return of the Joker Uncut on the way there and back on the built in DVD player.
So we get there, say our hellos, and start looking at the menu. It was primarily a seafood that we went to, and not being a fan of seafood, I kind of wondered what I would eat. And let me say that my wonder and there worry are 2 entirely different things. And they always tell me "get whatever you want," but what they really mean is "get what ever you want, as long as it's expensive." I saw a cheese burger and decided that's what I wanted. Everyone was telling each other what they were getting, and I told them the burger, and they weren't happy with my choice. They told me to get this steak, or steak sandwich. But with those "get this" request always comes "I thought you liked (insert food I'm not getting here)." I do, I just don't want that today. But even after I say that, the "get this" continues on. No worries, I stood my ground and ordered my burger. I think it has something to do with the burger being $5 cheaper than the steak. They always want me to get the expensive for some reason, even if I assure them, "that's what I want."
Anyways after that little story, now we actually order. My parents, brother and I ordered our food with little hassle at all. We knew what we wanted and told the waitress. But then comes the time for the older generation to order, and that was a sight. "Now what's the vegetable?" "What does that come with?" "Can I substitute that for asparagus?" Oh asparagus, one decided they want it and the rest start changing their order to get asparagus instead of the mixed vegetables. Then after placing his order, my grandpa changes it after he hears what his friend is getting. So there's more craziness. There were many other things, but I can't remember all of it since I was fighting laughing so hard. Afterwards the waitress asked my parents and my brother and I if we had any changes, and we said no.
So after crazy ordering, we open cards. Nothing really special with that. Then we waited for an hour for our food. No judgement on the restaurant after the ordering.
So now our food gets here, or should I say the soup and salads. My grandma ordered beef stroganouf, and she didn't like it because it was to thick. Not that it didn't taste good, but because it was to thick. It tasted like gravy so I ate it because I love beef gravy.
So then our main dishes get here, and mine was good. What do my grand parents do, they go on and on about how good it looks. I leaned of to my grandpa and said, "How about you try it?" My family teases a lot, so I wasn't being mean, just getting even. So they eat, and we eat. We finish, so then they start passing their food onto us. "Well here, try this. It's really good." Since it was seafood they left me alone this time, but my mom and brother weren't safe. My brother is completely full, and my grandpa gives him the last quarter of his crab cake. He said he was full, even before grandpa offered, but no one is safe from the food passers. Then my grandpa gives some of his shrimp to my mom. He doesn't like the breading they put on, well any seafood from any restaurant, so he peals it all off and places it on a side plate. Mom says "well if I'm gonna have it at least let me have some of the breading."
So now we're at the end when we're boxing up the left overs. We box up our left over fries and meat like many Americans. Restaurant left overs make great lunches. But my grandma has enough left on her plait to make a full lunch. Mom says "box that up," but she says "here take my asparagus." Oh man, the asparagus you fought so hard to get, you are passing it off to some one else. Mom says take it but she says I won't eat it so you take it. A little more back and forth of take it, and mom eventually gave in. At least this time we were all on separate bills so they didn't end up arguing over who's paying. And their arguments never involve "you're paying," it's always "I'm paying." I really don't get my family no matter how hard I try, but I love them either way, and never forget that.
Happy mothers day.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I'm blind and bad
Hey everyone, today was great. Today I did a blindfold activity in Psychology and did a senior prank. I'll tell things in cronological order, starting with Psyc.
Last class we did an activity with blindfolds and peanuts. Today we did various activities around the school blindfolded. These activities were going up and down stairs, drinking from the drinking fountain, drawing and filling in a circle, typing psychology and our name on the computer, washing our hands, and walking through the hall way. We did this as partners, where one was blindfolded and the other soptted. Theceasyest thing was typing psychology ang my name since I practically type blind now. I made one error, and that was putting a "{" where I should have put a "p" in my typing of the word "psychology" so it read "{sychology." It was kinda funny, but not as bad as some people who were plain giberish. Hard deciding the hardest, since there were many equally hard. Circle seemed easy, with my circle only being slightly incompleat, but my shading was prety off. Stairs were kinda scary because it's a fall if I miss. I trusted my parter, but you try walking down stairs compleatly blind without being super familiar with the hall. Once I started going up or down, I wanted to keep going up or down once I finished. It was weird. The hardest thing of them all was leaving the bathroom after washing my hands. I literally got lost on the way out. I kept running into the walls and was aparently going around in circles. It was probably very funny to watch. It was hard spotting, because I had to be my partners eyes and comunicate everything I saw. Still fun activity.
Now for the really fun thing, my senior prank. Before anyone starts guessing, let me just say that it's simple and something me nor my friend will get in trouble for. My friend and fellow trombone player had the idea of taking this sign in the band room and putting it somewhere else in the school, or just taking it. Well not wating to get in trouble, he decided against it. I sugested, "well how about we flip it up side down?" He thought that was a great idea, now what about a screw driver? I forgot to mention that we came up with this plan about 2 weeks ago, so when conceved, we didn't have the screw driver nesacery for taking the sifn off and putting it back on up side down. Today I brought a screw driver, and we flipped it up side down. Here is a picture of our work.
Now you might be thinking, "that's lame." But we're both good kids,with reputations to uphold. We're both active members of students against destructive decisions, and we're not trouble makers, so we wanted to do something that was funny but won't get us in serious trouble. Fliping the sign will just get the band teacher or stage manager person to say "haha, funny guys, now flip it back." So far we've just gotten a "something seems different." It's funny. Well that was my funny day. Later.
Last class we did an activity with blindfolds and peanuts. Today we did various activities around the school blindfolded. These activities were going up and down stairs, drinking from the drinking fountain, drawing and filling in a circle, typing psychology and our name on the computer, washing our hands, and walking through the hall way. We did this as partners, where one was blindfolded and the other soptted. Theceasyest thing was typing psychology ang my name since I practically type blind now. I made one error, and that was putting a "{" where I should have put a "p" in my typing of the word "psychology" so it read "{sychology." It was kinda funny, but not as bad as some people who were plain giberish. Hard deciding the hardest, since there were many equally hard. Circle seemed easy, with my circle only being slightly incompleat, but my shading was prety off. Stairs were kinda scary because it's a fall if I miss. I trusted my parter, but you try walking down stairs compleatly blind without being super familiar with the hall. Once I started going up or down, I wanted to keep going up or down once I finished. It was weird. The hardest thing of them all was leaving the bathroom after washing my hands. I literally got lost on the way out. I kept running into the walls and was aparently going around in circles. It was probably very funny to watch. It was hard spotting, because I had to be my partners eyes and comunicate everything I saw. Still fun activity.
Now for the really fun thing, my senior prank. Before anyone starts guessing, let me just say that it's simple and something me nor my friend will get in trouble for. My friend and fellow trombone player had the idea of taking this sign in the band room and putting it somewhere else in the school, or just taking it. Well not wating to get in trouble, he decided against it. I sugested, "well how about we flip it up side down?" He thought that was a great idea, now what about a screw driver? I forgot to mention that we came up with this plan about 2 weeks ago, so when conceved, we didn't have the screw driver nesacery for taking the sifn off and putting it back on up side down. Today I brought a screw driver, and we flipped it up side down. Here is a picture of our work.
Now you might be thinking, "that's lame." But we're both good kids,with reputations to uphold. We're both active members of students against destructive decisions, and we're not trouble makers, so we wanted to do something that was funny but won't get us in serious trouble. Fliping the sign will just get the band teacher or stage manager person to say "haha, funny guys, now flip it back." So far we've just gotten a "something seems different." It's funny. Well that was my funny day. Later.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
April Fools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha ha to who ever believed yesterday's post about be becoming discovered. I doubt many believed it, but I did fool my friend with the same type of prank only with his name. He clicked on a couple of links, and then texted be saying "you suck." I also got my girlfriend with it, but she was cooler about it. I used a site called swagbucks where you can search and win for virtual currency that you can redeem for cool prizes like amazon gift cards. Click on the image below to sign up right now. 
And on a related topic, anyone else see the jokes played by google, YouTube, and hulu? Google boasted a new product called "Gmail motion" where you do things similar to kinect to write and send emails. It was kinda funny. YouTube did this thing where there were videos from "1911." They were kinda funny since there were video's that parodied famous viral videos like keyboard kitty. It was all grainy and involved a cat "playing" a flugelhorm calling it "flugelhorn feline." And saving the best for last, there was hulu from "1996." That was my favorite. It had grany pictures, simple text, Netscape, dial-up modem connecting before videos, and news from 1996. I don't know about the things for YouTube and google, but hulu 1996 is still up on hulu. Funny day.
And on a related topic, anyone else see the jokes played by google, YouTube, and hulu? Google boasted a new product called "Gmail motion" where you do things similar to kinect to write and send emails. It was kinda funny. YouTube did this thing where there were videos from "1911." They were kinda funny since there were video's that parodied famous viral videos like keyboard kitty. It was all grainy and involved a cat "playing" a flugelhorm calling it "flugelhorn feline." And saving the best for last, there was hulu from "1996." That was my favorite. It had grany pictures, simple text, Netscape, dial-up modem connecting before videos, and news from 1996. I don't know about the things for YouTube and google, but hulu 1996 is still up on hulu. Funny day.
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