Hey everyone. It's Mother's Day again, and I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't have another fun restraut story. Many years ago we had "the asparagus story." Now it is time for "the prime rib story." Once again, I love my family, but they can be a little crazy, and this time I'm kind of to blame. Here's the thing, we used to go out to a nice restaurant every year for Mother's Day, but recently celebrations have been "go to my parent's house spend time with the people that aren't my parents while they go crazy hosting. Part of this is because of covid, part of this is because it has gotten hard to move my grandma. 2 or so weeks ago my mom proposed "go to their house and have a pot roast for Mother's Day," and I said "I would rather go to the restaurant we normally went to on Mother's Day." Mom called them and was able to get us a reservation, and this is where the fun began.
First off, my grandma doesn't travel very easily anymore. She has REALLY bad arthritis, and has trouble with balance, making it very hard to get her in and out of cars. She also has no real turn radius with her walker, so areas need to be open and flat. The funny thing though is this makes restaurants and other public places better for her than my parent's house (parents have steps going up to their house, restaurants either don't have that or have ramps for ADA compliance). I know that's why my mom and everyone else always gets take out or delivery when taking care of her instead of going out to the restaurant, but this was special, and honestly if she was going to leave her house it might as well have been to a place that is completely level without any steps.
We had my parents, grandma, brother, the accordion friends, mskate, and I all at the restaurant. Since it was a holiday the menu was limited, and we had to find something grandma would like. Back in the day this wouldn't be very difficult; she would read the menu, pick one of the most expensive things on the menu, tell me to not worry about the price and I should get what I want (because I always happen to get one of the cheaper things on the menu, but that's honestly just because that's what I like), and that would be it. Maybe some crazy order changes when she missed something on the menu, but that would be it. However, she has become a lot more picky and confused with age, so whenever we go out someone has to order for her, and it's never guaranteed that she will like what she gets so our meals have to be tradable. Many years ago she liked prime rib, and as one of the more expensive things on the menu, the price was right. She also liked her steaks cooked medium (because she and grandpa would always be worried that my steaks were over cooked when I ordered it well done), so I assumed she would like her prime rib medium. I got the pork chops because I like restaurant pork chops (and of course they happened to be one of the cheapest things on the menu), and my mom got fried shrimp.
Before we get to the craziness, here are the gifts. We decided to do gift exchange before the meal because we only had the table for an hour and a half (they told us this much), and that ended up working out for the best. The day before mskate and I got gourmet cookies from a cookie shop that was close to where we were dog sitting that weekend (oh yeah, we were dog sitting Mother's Day weekend, nothing special though, just watching a friend's old dog while they were away). The cookies were $4 each, but if we bought 4 it was $13. For the extra dollar I got myself a gourmet cookie, but mskate wanted to get the individual boxes for everyone. We asked the cashier if we could get the the cookies individually boxed but at the 4 pack price. She said it would be a 25 cent upcharge, but it was loud and crowded, and she spoke softly and it ended up being a 25 percent upcharge (basically meaning it was full price for individual cookies). I noticed it shortly after seeing the price on the register and the price on the menu, but it was really crowded and mskate really wanted the individual boxes, so I didn't argue, but mskate agreed that next year we just get the 4 pack box, because it was silly to pay $1 for a box. We got cookies that would match everyone's personality; grandma got the basic chocolate chip (she's picky but likes classic chocolate chip), mom got a nutela cookie (she's a little adventurous and sometimes likes "young people fads," and I remember when nutela was a bit of a "young people fad"), accordion friend got pink velvet (a fancier fancier flavor for one who likes to cook and bake on an almost professional level), and I got lemon (because my unironic enjoyment of lemons and lemon flavor has become a running joke in my family). Mskate wrote nice messages on the boxes for everyone and they all enjoyed it. She also got my grandma a card that folds into a pot of flowers and my mom a card that has a pop-up bee hive. Mom was really happy and said "nice Hallmark cards, these are the kind of cards we get now that we have a girl in the family," and without missing a beat my brother said "no mom, you taught us to get dollar store cards."
OK, it's dinner time, the moment of truth. Grandma is skeptical because the prime rib is a little pink (that's what medium is), and it was quite big. Since my brother was sitting next to her he cut a piece and gave it to her. Unfortunately this was one of those "I used to like it but now I don't" things, saying "it was inedible." She traded with mom but felt bad because she didn't want mom to eat something so bad (it wasn't, it was actually really good). She ate some of the shrimp, but she wasn't really enjoying it. This is where my pork chops came into play. I ate one of my pork chops, but left the other to the side in case it was needed and ate my potato in the mean time. When it became obvious she didn't necessarily want the shrimp, I started cutting pieces of my other pork chop and mskate started giving it to her. We had to do this somewhat stealthy because she would have a fit if she saw it coming off her grandson's plate (because pretty much all my life she and grandpa would unsolicited take food off their plate and give it to me), but she never caught onto where the pork chop was coming from. Since she wasn't eating the shrimp mom took back the shrimp and gave me some of the prime rib. At one point the waitress came out and saw us trading food and got a little confused. Mom said "we'll help you with the checks later." At the end of the meal there was about 2/3rd of a pork chop left and maybe an ounce or 2 of prime rib with a good amount being stuck on the fat line, and 1 dinner role. I boxed the pork chop and gave it to my mom to give to grandma the following day for dinner, and I took the remainder of the prime rib after trimming off the meat from the fat and the dinner role for myself. We were able to sort out who got what (pork chop, prime rip, and mskate's salmon was on our bill, shrimp and dad's meal was on their bill). Mskate and I got grandma's meal as a mother's day gift, and at first she wasn't having any of that ("oh no, you can't do that, that's too much, I need to do something for you in return"), and that's when I reversed her logic on her ("no this is me returning the favor for all those Friday nights we spent with you"), and that ended up working.
So this wasn't AS crazy as asparagus, but it definitely reminded us of it (I leaned over to my parents and said "asparagus" a couple of times). I guess before I go I might as well mention that Dad and I saw my brother bartend the night before. He knows a guy that has a micro-brewery that sells their beer at the brewery, and he bar tends for them every now and then. It was fun having a drink with my dad while brother helped recommend stuff for us. I had a pint of one of their sour beers and alcoholic slushies, and dad had a pecan beer and something else, and we watched the Kentucky Derby (80-1 odds, that was quite a race). Brother asked if I wanted another but it was getting a little late and I was starting to feel it/ I said "no, I'm starting to feel it Mr. Krabs." Anyway, that was Mother's Day weekend. Grandma enjoyed her left over pork chop and half of the cookie, which is good to hear. This has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.
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