Easter Fun 2022

 Hey everyone, it's Easter time again, which is a fun time with our family. This year was a REALLY big year though, because mskate went through RCIA to join the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil. I'll get to that soon enough but first I need to go through everything starting at Friday.

So every year my family makes soft pretzels for Easter, a Polish tradition we normally did with my dad's side of the family when we went to see them on Easter. We haven't done it with them since my paternal grandma passed, but we still do it with my parents, and this year IRA and my maternal grandma joined in. This does put a little challenge for mskate though, since she has pretty much all the food allergies, and most of those things are in pretzels. My ever accommodating parents found a way though, finding a good allergy friendly dough recipe online and making her special dough. We made her pretzels first to prevent cross contamination (no flour on cutting board, no pretzel residue in the baking soda bath, no pretzel crumbs on the baking sheets). The fun thing is we got to use our pretzel making template we got for a wedding present. Since Dad and I like Good Eats with Alton Brown, we made jokes about the unitasker. It was pretty handy though, because you shape the pretzel on the mold, and then it lifts off the mold to put in the bath, and then that can be used to fish it out. After making mskate's we made our normal pretzels, and it was really fun.

After the pretzels we dyed eggs. We had 2 different egg kits going, but we just couldn't get some of the colors to turn out right. This is where grandma really enjoyed watching us, because when we we little we would dye eggs at her house and it brought back a bunch of memories. One of the interesting things in one of the kits was an "egg glaze" which made the eggs shiny after dying. IRA and I had some fun with that, but the glaze was stale or something and didn't really spread well (it was kind of like a gelatin-jelly), and they didn't turn out very well. We also did egg sleeves, and mskate was really fascinated by those. Unfortunately my parents got "large eggs" and the sleeves were more meant for "medium eggs," but we were able to use most of them and they turned out well. It was a really fun time. At some point mskate and I made it to church, but I don't remember if it was before or after my parents.

Saturday was the BIG day, probably the most eventful of all the days. First off, mskate's sponsor and her husband came up on this day. We met them at a restaurant mskate and I discovered one night when I said "I don't want to cook, I want to go out to get Chinese at a restaurant," and while this wasn't Chinese it was a new restaurant. This was really fun since I haven't seen them since the wedding, and I get along really well with the husband (but I don't know him well enough to come up with a blog name yet, lol). We sat together and had some fun discussions about the trip up and jobs. I guess you can say we had brunch, because some people had breakfast foods and others had lunch foods. The restaurant is also along the water, so after the meal we went out and walked along the dock. The really fun thing was pointing out Canada (because we're close to the border, one of my favorite radio stations is a Canadian station, and if I set-up the TV antenna just right I can get like 4 Canadian TV channels). Mskate and I grew up close to the border and had short vacations in Canada in our youth, so we take "look, it's a foreign country" for granted, but for them it was really impressive to be able to be able to see Canada in person across the water. 

After lunch it was time for another big event. IRA and I are fans of Steven Crowder and when they announced that Dave and Steven would be doing a live show at the Royal Oak Music Theater (something that isn't too far from us, and I went there when I went to the Mike and Micky Show), we knew we had to do it. I picked up IRA and we found parking. Then we got in line and it was pretty crazy. The line stretched all the way around the block past the transportation center, a lot of people wearing Steven Crowder shirts, Let's Go Brandon, and MAGA. I know IRA wore one of his Crowder shirts; I want to say it was "piss off youtube."

When we were in line venue security came walking around distributing "legal to drink" wrist bands (this makes it easier on the bar inside, instead of everyone showing their ID everyone just shows the wrist band). I didn't have any plans on drinking, but I wanted the wrist band. While we were waiting in line I remembered I had my pocket knife on me (because if I'm not at my day job, I probably have my pocket knife on my person like a good boy scout), and I remembered "live performances don't want you to have pocket knives." I ran back to the car, dropped my knife in the cup holder, and ran back. I struggled a little to find IRA, but after calling him I reunited.

Once again I assumed my ticket was in the balcony, but the usher told us "no you're on the main floor, center." We weren't super close like I was with Mike and Micky, but it was still pretty close to where we could clearly see the acts. One thing that was really cool was the pre-show music was either Louder with Crowder parody songs or pogo. I want to say that the song before the start was the song they play before the online show, but I can't say for certain. The opener guy was pretty good, I want Steven to have him on the online show some time. Dave and Steven were hilarious. I don't remember a lot of the jokes they told, but it was really fun seeing them do jokes that weren't just about modern social-political topics. Dave's closer about the prostitute and White Castle sliders was gold. What was really neat is that a lot of the jokes were specific to South East Michigan since Dave is from Detroit and Steven's family is from Detroit and Steven used to live in Ann Arbor. Since they're high level comedians the jokes work if you're unfamiliar with the area, and I'm sure they use the same jokes elsewhere in the country, you could tell there was "hometown details" that were added, like Dave talking about "getting high at this house on Gratiot" (a street in Detroit) at this show is probably "there was this Detroit house I used to get high at" in other shows. After the show I dropped IRA off and went back to our house for Easter Vigil. Mskate was worried that the show would go too long and I would be late, but it didn't.

This was quite the ordeal. Mom and Dad brought grandma, and that was quite something. I struggled with mass, because they had a bunch of Easter flowers in the church, and I am allergic to pretty much all the flowers. After everyone was seated and situated, I stood outside by the fire they had going. As I stood out there I had the great idea of "if anyone joins me I will say 'surely you were with him' and see if they say 'I do not know that man.'" Unfortunately no one joined me so I didn't get to use that, but it got some laughs when I told people about it afterwards. My standing out there actually helped with the technical production side since I was able to give them a reference for "average height adult male" when framing the shot for the online stream and projected video inside the church for when they were lighting the candles off the fire. The mass was good, but twice I had to step outside and get some non-allergy air. The first time was about halfway through mass, and the second time was after communion. After the second time I sat in the back away from all the flowers, and that helped some. After mass when we were packing up my grandma, she told me "it's really late, you can stay at my house, I don't want you driving all the way home." I reminded her that she was at my church, and my house was much closer than her house. Bless her heart, but she gets very confused. After mass I took a hot steamy shower to clear my sinuses, and that felt good.

Easter Sunday, the day of celebration. Mskate's friends joined us for breakfast and we made these vegan pancakes that everyone could eat. It was a really weird recipe, since the batter was the consistency of cookie dough and not pancake batter. When we put chocolate chips in I originally said "put the chocolate chips in after pouring the batter," because with normal pancake batter you do that because if you mix it in the bowl the chips all settle at the bottom and the distribution is all off. However, because this was "cookie dough" the chips were all stuck on the top and melted into the pan without going into the pancake, so then I mixed it in with the batter in the bowl like I would with cookie dough. Mskate and I distributed the work; she mixed all the ingredients, I cooked them in the frying pan. The scraping scoop we had dished out the perfect amount, and everyone enjoyed my cooking.

First we saw the in-laws and we gave Easter baskets, just nothing super exciting. After them we went to my parents for the Easter party. Grandma and her accordion friends came over, and we had a fun sing along. We sang some Disney songs and old spring time songs, but what was really weird was singing "you are my sunshine" and "a tisket a tasket." Everyone knows the chorus for "you are my sunshine," it's a pretty common public domain song (and if it's not like how Happy Birthday was still under copyright until recently, it's part of the American cultural cannon). Well accordion friend printed off the verses for it and this was the first time any of us have heard it, and it turns out the song we all thought was an up-beat love song ("you brighten up the day like the sun, I can't imagine life without you here") is actually a depressed break-up song ("my life was full of light when you were here, but now that you are gone my life is dark and meaningless"). That was crazy. Then with a Tisket a Tasket, pretty much all of us only knew "a tisket a tasket, a [something something] basket," and we had the Ella Fitzgerald version which has the line "and if she doesn't bring it back I think I will die," which is a pretty extreme reaction to "I lost my basket." I think we had a pot roast dinner, and it was good.

Because Easter fell on a Sunday this year, I had the Monday after off. Mskate and I largely spent the day relaxing and organizing after Easter (new toys and candy, had to find places for them), and then I was like "it's been forever since I went to the movies, I want to see Uncharted." And so I found a theater that was playing Uncharted and I saw it. Since Uncharted is basically a videogame adaptation of treasure hunt movies, it translated to film pretty well. And that was my Easter weekend. It was pretty jam packed, and really fun. This has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.

Mother's Day 2022, Another Restaurant Experience

 Hey everyone. It's Mother's Day again, and I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't have another fun restraut story. Many years ago we had "the asparagus story." Now it is time for "the prime rib story." Once again, I love my family, but they can be a little crazy, and this time I'm kind of to blame. Here's the thing, we used to go out to a nice restaurant every year for Mother's Day, but recently celebrations have been "go to my parent's house spend time with the people that aren't my parents while they go crazy hosting. Part of this is because of covid, part of this is because it has gotten hard to move my grandma. 2 or so weeks ago my mom proposed "go to their house and have a pot roast for Mother's Day," and I said "I would rather go to the restaurant we normally went to on Mother's Day." Mom called them and was able to get us a reservation, and this is where the fun began.

First off, my grandma doesn't travel very easily anymore. She has REALLY bad arthritis, and has trouble with balance, making it very hard to get her in and out of cars. She also has no real turn radius with her walker, so areas need to be open and flat. The funny thing though is this makes restaurants and other public places better for her than my parent's house (parents have steps going up to their house, restaurants either don't have that or have ramps for ADA compliance). I know that's why my mom and everyone else always gets take out or delivery when taking care of her instead of going out to the restaurant, but this was special, and honestly if she was going to leave her house it might as well have been to a place that is completely level without any steps.

We had my parents, grandma, brother, the accordion friends, mskate, and I all at the restaurant. Since it was a holiday the menu was limited, and we had to find something grandma would like. Back in the day this wouldn't be very difficult; she would read the menu, pick one of the most expensive things on the menu, tell me to not worry about the price and I should get what I want (because I always happen to get one of the cheaper things on the menu, but that's honestly just because that's what I like), and that would be it. Maybe some crazy order changes when she missed something on the menu, but that would be it. However, she has become a lot more picky and confused with age, so whenever we go out someone has to order for her, and it's never guaranteed that she will like what she gets so our meals have to be tradable. Many years ago she liked prime rib, and as one of the more expensive things on the menu, the price was right. She also liked her steaks cooked medium (because she and grandpa would always be worried that my steaks were over cooked when I ordered it well done), so I assumed she would like her prime rib medium. I got the pork chops because I like restaurant pork chops (and of course they happened to be one of the cheapest things on the menu), and my mom got fried shrimp.

Before we get to the craziness, here are the gifts. We decided to do gift exchange before the meal because we only had the table for an hour and a half (they told us this much), and that ended up working out for the best. The day before mskate and I got gourmet cookies from a cookie shop that was close to where we were dog sitting that weekend (oh yeah, we were dog sitting Mother's Day weekend, nothing special though, just watching a friend's old dog while they were away). The cookies were $4 each, but if we bought 4 it was $13. For the extra dollar I got myself a gourmet cookie, but mskate wanted to get the individual boxes for everyone. We asked the cashier if we could get the the cookies individually boxed but at the 4 pack price. She said it would be a 25 cent upcharge, but it was loud and crowded, and she spoke softly and it ended up being a 25 percent upcharge (basically meaning it was full price for individual cookies). I noticed it shortly after seeing the price on the register and the price on the menu, but it was really crowded and mskate really wanted the individual boxes, so I didn't argue, but mskate agreed that next year we just get the 4 pack box, because it was silly to pay $1 for a box. We got cookies that would match everyone's personality; grandma got the basic chocolate chip (she's picky but likes classic chocolate chip), mom got a nutela cookie (she's a little adventurous and sometimes likes "young people fads," and I remember when nutela was a bit of a "young people fad"), accordion friend got pink velvet (a fancier fancier flavor for one who likes to cook and bake on an almost professional level), and I got lemon (because my unironic enjoyment of lemons and lemon flavor has become a running joke in my family). Mskate wrote nice messages on the boxes for everyone and they all enjoyed it. She also got my grandma a card that folds into a pot of flowers and my mom a card that has a pop-up bee hive. Mom was really happy and said "nice Hallmark cards, these are the kind of cards we get now that we have a girl in the family," and without missing a beat my brother said "no mom, you taught us to get dollar store cards."

OK, it's dinner time, the moment of truth. Grandma is skeptical because the prime rib is a little pink (that's what medium is), and it was quite big. Since my brother was sitting next to her he cut a piece and gave it to her. Unfortunately this was one of those "I used to like it but now I don't" things, saying "it was inedible." She traded with mom but felt bad because she didn't want mom to eat something so bad (it wasn't, it was actually really good). She ate some of the shrimp, but she wasn't really enjoying it. This is where my pork chops came into play. I ate one of my pork chops, but left the other to the side in case it was needed and ate my potato in the mean time. When it became obvious she didn't necessarily want the shrimp, I started cutting pieces of my other pork chop and mskate started giving it to her. We had to do this somewhat stealthy because she would have a fit if she saw it coming off her grandson's plate (because pretty much all my life she and grandpa would unsolicited take food off their plate and give it to me), but she never caught onto where the pork chop was coming from. Since she wasn't eating the shrimp mom took back the shrimp and gave me some of the prime rib. At one point the waitress came out and saw us trading food and got a little confused. Mom said "we'll help you with the checks later." At the end of the meal there was about 2/3rd of a pork chop left and maybe an ounce or 2 of prime rib with a good amount being stuck on the fat line, and 1 dinner role. I boxed the pork chop and gave it to my mom to give to grandma the following day for dinner, and I took the remainder of the prime rib after trimming off the meat from the fat and the dinner role for myself. We were able to sort out who got what (pork chop, prime rip, and mskate's salmon was on our bill, shrimp and dad's meal was on their bill). Mskate and I got grandma's meal as a mother's day gift, and at first she wasn't having any of that ("oh no, you can't do that, that's too much, I need to do something for you in return"), and that's when I reversed her logic on her ("no this is me returning the favor for all those Friday nights we spent with you"), and that ended up working.

So this wasn't AS crazy as asparagus, but it definitely reminded us of it (I leaned over to my parents and said "asparagus" a couple of times). I guess before I go I might as well mention that Dad and I saw my brother bartend the night before. He knows a guy that has a micro-brewery that sells their beer at the brewery, and he bar tends for them every now and then. It was fun having a drink with my dad while brother helped recommend stuff for us. I had a pint of one of their sour beers and alcoholic slushies, and dad had a pecan beer and something else, and we watched the Kentucky Derby (80-1 odds, that was quite a race). Brother asked if I wanted another but it was getting a little late and I was starting to feel it/ I said "no, I'm starting to feel it Mr. Krabs." Anyway, that was Mother's Day weekend. Grandma enjoyed her left over pork chop and half of the cookie, which is good to hear. This has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.