Thursday, November 26, 2015

Losing a Friend, a Difficult Blog to Write

Hey everyone, this is not an easy blog to write, and one I don't necessarily want to write, but to honor her memory, I must share this story.

So 1 week ago I lost my friend Brandi M. She was a wonderful person who was not afraid to stand up for what she believed in. We first met in Students for Life, she was our vice president, and an active member in the pro-life movement, having founded and leading the local Young Professionals For Life group in the local area of our college. With her activism in the Pro-Life movement, it is almost befitting that the last time I and others saw her was at our Students for Life meeting just last week. It is really crazy to think that just 1 week ago we were all hanging out, talking about the pro-life movement in our local area and in the big picture.

On Tuesday November 24th we had the visitation and on Wednesday November 25th we had the funeral. I unfortunately had bad information and missed the visitation. The obituary implied that the visitation would be at the church, and when I got there they were having bingo, definitely not visitation for my departed friend. After calling a string of friends I got some directions to the funeral home. I got lost on the way, and while I think I made it to the right funeral home in retrospect, there wasn't anything saying that this was the visitation for Brandi and there was like an example book out. I thought "I'm not going to crash someone else's visitation." I wish I had good information, but the visitation is not what is important, the funeral is.

On Wednesday I woke-up, packed up my stuff to drive home for Thanksgiving break, and left for the funeral. I met up with the old president of Students for Life (my first president, and I think Brandi's as well), and we sat together. Not to much time later, her best friend and former president she worked with along with the current president of Students for Life arrived. It was a very nice service. There were some good readings, stories of Brandi, remembering her final days, and the other good but hard stuff.

After the ceremony, some of the Students for Life members and alumni met up before heading to the cemetery. What was really nice was that the former president and vice president of College Republicans also made it. While Brandi wasn't active in College Republicans, she and the president of the time started going to meetings to try to build collaboration between the 2 conservative groups (in addition to hanging out with the members that were in both groups). It was great seeing them again, even under the circumstances. Another notable person to show up was the regional coordinator for students for life. He's been to our meetings a couple of times, and I'm sure he knew Brandi rather well. Neither the College Republicans nor the regional coordinator were able to make it to the cemetery, but it meant a lot to us student for life members to know that they both made it.

The funeral was hard enough, but the cemetery was even harder. All us Student for Life members and alumni gathered together and formed a group to say our final goodbyes. All of us laid our hands on the casket together, all the while crying over the loss of our dear friend. We were some of the last people to say our goodbyes. After we left the casket, we all stood off to the side and group hugged as we cried. After the group hug broke up, we hugged each other individually, just passing from one partner to another. We were the last people to get in our cars. No one talked except for her best friend saying "thank-you" after the group hug. We were quite a sight, like something out of a movie. As we were leaving the cemetery, someone had written "BRAND ANGEL" on a piece of plywood on the other side of the fence in the trailer park neighboring the cemetery. That was nice to see.

At the luncheon immediately following the cemetery I was able to talk to the friends I haven't seen in forever about what they have been up to. It was a good hour to help me get my head around what just we just experienced. I really needed that because I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I was glad I had that 3 hour drive ahead of me, because it gave me the time I needed to process everything that has happened. When driving home, I saw a bill board for pro-life activism, and that hit rather hard since she was so active in the pro-life movement. The world with not be the same without you Brandi, and we will all miss you.

Well, this has been Pokematic, signing off, and bu-bye.

PS: If you would like to read about Brandi's journeys in the pro-life movement, you can read her blog here.

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